


there's bones in my closet but you hang stuff anyway

by askmeaboutmyoctopustheory



Category: Marvel 616, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, M/M, POV Alternating, Soulmates, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory/pseuds/askmeaboutmyoctopustheory
Summary: “Happy birthday bud.” Barney mumbled to him half-heartedly. “Find anything?”“Nah. Not worried though.” Clint felt giddy.------When you lose something, your soulmate finds it in their possession
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Matt Murdock/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 47
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So i found this [amazing list](https://r-evolve-art.tumblr.com/post/144380748003/master-list-of-soulmate-aus) of soulmate au prompts and this one really stuck out to me so: whatever you lose, your soulmate finds
> 
> thank you ryan for injecting the feels brain worm into this and whb server for being feral as always 
> 
> i'm sorry that i'm starting another wip but no i'm not <3

Clint woke up on his 17th birthday with a bit of excitement. He knew he wasn’t guaranteed to find anything today. His soulmate could be younger than him. Or they could be a real Type-A person who never lost anything. But today, officially, he could hypothetically start piecing together who his soulmate was.

“Happy birthday bud.” Barney mumbled to him half-heartedly. “Find anything?”   
  
“Nah. Not worried though.” Clint felt giddy. 

The circus had traveled through three cities before Clint found what looked like a very plain protein bar in his bags. It was a beige brick that tasted like nothing, had no labeling except for a red star on a plain white wrapper. There were a few words in Russian.

“Fuckin’ weird, where’re you gonna meet a Russian.” One of the trapeze artists asked as she blew cigarette smoke at the setting sun. 

“I dunno.” Clint felt himself grin widely. “I’ve got one though! A soulmate!”   
  
The trapeze artist just shook her head at him but offered him one of the American Spirits from her pack anyway with a grin. 

“You got a light?” Clint’s reflexes barely caught the matchbook she threw at him.

“Keep ‘em” She called as she retreated back into the tent. “Someone in the crowd left it in the bleachers.”

Clint mostly held the cigarette, taking a few puffs gently and blowing rings towards the horizon. They were somewhere in the midwest and he could see the curve of the Earth from where the circus set up on the edge of town. He wasn’t sure exactly which direction he was facing but he closed his eyes and imagined the invisible pull between him and his soulmate

\----

The Soldier awoke as usual. His cell was within normal parameters. His bed got made as soon as he exited it. He was pulling his pants on when he felt something abnormal. He knew exactly how much his pants weighed. There was something else. 

  
Reaching his metallic hand into the cargo pocket of his pants, The Soldier found a small book of matches. The cardboard was brightly colored with the English word TULIP written diagonally. A red drawing of a tulip was below the letters.

_ “Soldat!”  _

He heard a sharp voice from down the hall. He was tardy for his morning report. The Soldier looked back at the colorful drawing and shoved it under his mattress. He didn’t want his handler to find it. He couldn’t understand why.

He only got mildly punished for being late. 

\-----

Clint spent his 20th birthday the same way he had spent the last two. And his 21st the same way too. And his 25th. He stared at the small collection of things that had appeared from his soulmate. The unlucky sap stuck with him as a soulmate must be extremely tidy. He had only ever collected the first nutrition bar, a pink silk ribbon tied into a perfect bow, and a sort of business card with a single russian word stamped onto it. 

“Y’ ready Hawkeye? Gotta big show, lotsa people!” 

Trick’s voice made his skin crawl more and more each day. Clint was trying to subtly convince Barney to leave with him. He didn’t think it’d work. 

“Sure am.” Clint said, tossing the items into a too-big box he’d made for them after the first one showed up. 

“Happy birthday, kid.”   
  
Clint snorted. “Yeah. Thanks, Trick.”

Not that it mattered. Clint got left for dead by the ones he considered his family less than a year later.

\-----

The Soldier had an odd assortment of matchbooks, ticket stubs, and bottle caps under his mattress by now. He didn’t remember where they came from, but he kept adding to the collection when he found more things. He didn’t remember much. He didn’t need too. 

There was a girl with red hair. She was fierce. She trained him as much as he trained her. He felt like he had a vision of another young girl. With dark hair and eyes like his. 

The girl with red hair gave him one of the old ribbons from her pointe shoes. 

  
His handlers were keeping him awake more than not. He wasn’t so cold anymore. The girl was named Natalia. Their handlers kept them together more often than not. They had a calling card, stamped onto a piece of paper so that the world knew who they were.

The mysterious appearing objects started to change. Pens, little paper airplanes, socks. The Soldier had no idea what prompted the change. 

Natalia went out on a mission without him. She had been closing herself off to him more and more. His handlers punished him and he didn’t understand why until he went out on his next mission. Alone. He had lost her

\-----

Clint twirled an arrow as he waited for his mark. Fury had sent him on his highest security mission yet, and Clint could tell that he didn’t quite trust him yet. Phil had helped him get through a lot of the loopholes to get to where he was at SHIELD, but Clint was going to have to prove himself. 

“You’re here to kill me.” A cold feminine voice came from behind him.

Clint whirled around and drew his bow. There was a young woman across the roof from his perch. Clint’s eyes darted to the holstered guns on her thighs and the odd bracelet-looking objects on her arms. 

“You’re the Black Widow?” He didn’t expect her to answer.

“One of them.” She replied, eyes shifting around. “I’m the one you’re supposed to kill though.”   
  
“And you're gonna tell me not to, huh?” Clint tensed his bowstring minutely. “Alright. Give me your best, Widow.”

“I’ve escaped.” She said quietly. “I left…..I left someone I love. They’re going to do horrible things. I just can’t go back.”   
  
The Widow dropped one of her guns and it clattered loudly on the concrete roof. Clint didn't take his eyes off her. 

“I- I know you have no reason to trust me. I wouldn’t trust myself. I don’t trust you. I just need you not to kill me. I can take care of myself but I need to be alive.”

Clint just stared at her. He eventually relaxed his stance but kept an arrow nocked. When he saw the relief on the Widow’s face, he saw just how young she was. 

“I’m not going to kill you.” He said finally. “But you’re going to come with me.”   
  


She eyed him suspiciously.

“You’re right. I don’t trust you. I’m gonna bring you into SHIELD. You know- of course you do.” He muttered. “I’m not the one who should make these calls. You’re just lucky I’m bad with authority.”

“Thank you Hawkeye.” She replied after a moment. “I’ll go with you.”

“Alright.” He gestured to the fire escape. “You first. I’ll walk behind you to the safe house, if you think about running-” He pulled at his bowstring again. “I never miss.”

Clint directed her back to the SHIELD safe house and sent a signal to Coulson that he was returning. He laid awake, aware that the Widow was right next to him, also pretending to be asleep. He wondered what the hell he had just found.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello and sorry lmao this is gonna be slow to update because the world is on fire ok? k
> 
> this chapter is very nat-centric and i decided at some point between posting the first chapter and now that i'm gonna tell her story here too so here's a little bit of shenanigans
> 
> i've made Nat a big younger than she is in most appearances because i prefer the relationship between her and both bucky and clint to be more of a brotherly/younger sister and i have no clue what timeline this exists in so i do what i want

Clint jolted awake. His eyes immediately landed on the redhead curled up as small as possible in the threadbare chair. His ears were uncomfortable because he had left his hearing aids in overnight. But the Widow hadn’t killed him, so worth it. Probably.

“Alright kid. What are you trying to get out of this?”

“I hadn’t thought this far ahead.” She said quietly. “I really never thought about anything outside of what I was trained for.”

“Start simple. What’s your name?”

The girl looked at him appraisingly for a moment. “Natasha.”

“Alright, Natasha. I don’t think the Red Room keeps track of birthdays, but do you know how old you are?”   
  
“20.” Natasha responded, looking down at her hands. “I do know my birthday, but-”   
  
She stopped talking suddenly and rubbed at her arm. Clint’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t press her for more information. 

“Ok. The big question is if you still wanna come with me. I’m gonna take you into SHIELD and they’ll probably take you into custody for a while, but you’ll be safe. Or I can just let you go and someone better at kill orders will probably come in a few months.”

“I’m going to come with you.” She said firmly. 

“Alright alright.” Clint put his hands up in a placating gesture. “We’re gonna have to go through back channels because I can’t exactly bring a wanted spy on a commercial flight. Luckily, I had a shady upbringing so I know where to find shady modes of transportation.”

Natasha just nodded along. “I have access to a few off-shore accounts that the KGB won’t notice getting drained.”

“Good girl.” Clint grinned at her. “I’m gonna take a shower real quick and then we’ve gotta move.”

Clint only hesitated minutely before taking his aids out to shower. He didn’t think Natasha would go anywhere, and he wouldn’t take long. The warmth of the water undid the tight knots in his shoulders from being tense overnight. He didn’t want to get out, but he knew that they were sitting ducks in a safehouse.

He heard soft rustling of Natasha moving around the room outside the bathroom door when he put his aids back in. Clint emerged to see the young woman sitting at the small table holding onto her arm with her wet eyes tightly shut.

“Are you ok?” He asked slowly.

She jolted and opened her eyes. “Yes. I’m fine.”

She moved her hand and Clint saw a rectangle of angry red skin on her pale arm. There was what looked like a very intense band-aid on the table next to her.

“Are… are you hurt?”

“No. I’ll explain later, I’m sorry. I will, I promise.”

“You don’t owe me any explanation kid, I just want to make sure you’re ok.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at him. “I’m not that much younger than you, Hawkeye.”   
  
“Yeah but I feel responsible for you.”

“I can take care of myself.”   
  
“You don’t have to anymore, though.” Clint cracked a grin. “You gotta trust me, eventually.”

“I know.” She said and a silence hung between them.

“Alright. Let’s get outta here.”

“Do you know where you’re going?” She asked as they climbed up the fire escape. “Why didn’t we use the door?” 

“This way has better sightlines.” Clint said as he pulled himself onto the roof. “And we’re heading to the harbor. Might have to stop somewhere you can access those off-shore accounts.”   
  
“Are you going to pay off a freighter crew to let us travel with them?”   
  
“Maybe. Yes. Why?” Clint hopped across a narrow gap between buildings.

Natasha hopped over to him smoothly. “Just curious.”

Clint just looked at her sideways as they continued traversing rooftops. “You’re a weird kid.”   
  
“I grew up in a bunker.” She replied monotonously. “And stop calling me kid or I’m gonna zap you.” She activated the bracelet-like weapons for a moment to prove her point.

“Alright, fine Nat. Can I call you Nat?”   
  
She seemed to be weighing her options. “Fine. There’s a bank on the next block, I’m going to stop and wire some money over. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I-” 

  
Clint’s protest was to empty air as Natasha disappeared over the side of a building. He made his way over to the roof of the bank to keep an eye out for anyone who might try and track them. Clint took the opportunity to send another message to Coulson, letting him know that it would be longer than expected for his return. Luckily, no questions were asked in this business if delays or bumps in the road happened.

“Hey.” Natasha’s voice startled him, nearly making him fall off the building. She raised an eyebrow as he righted himself before thrusting a pile of clothes into his hands. 

“Um?” Clint looked her over, realizing that she had put a large coat on over the tactical suit she had been wearing. 

“You’re shit at undercover.” She clarified. “Put on a disguise, ястреб.”

He scowled but put on the jacket and glasses that she had given him. “Where’d you get this?”   
  
“Third floor balcony clothesline.” She replied, when she saw Clint’s face she added. “I left them ample compensation.”

“Alright.” Clint faced her again when he was dressed to her approval. 

“We don’t have to climb on roofs now.”   
  
“Aw, but roofs are fun.”   
  
Nat just stared at him. “We could draw attention if anyone looks up.”

“Fine.”

Together they carefully made their way to the harbor. Clint instructed Nat to wait while he went and talked to a gruff-looking seaman who was directing the loading of shipping containers. Natasha could tell the moment that he mentioned a financial incentive, and she was waved over a moment later.

“We’ll have to camp out in the cargo, but they’re gonna give us meals.” He told her. “Better than I had expected, honestly.”   
  
Natasha just looked amused. “Will this take us directly to our destination?”   
  
“Not quite. It’ll get us to the US but we’ll have to find a way up the coast.”   
  
The man that Clint had coordinated with outside had sent some bedrolls and blankets down to the cargo bay and Natasha suddenly realized she was very tired. 

“You can take a nap, not gonna be goin anywhere in any hurry anytime soon.” Clint remarked as if reading her mind. He plopped himself down on a bedroll and rummaged through his bag. “Aw, no I forgot my book in the safe house.”   
  
Natasha shrugged off the coat and unzipped her tac suit, leaving her in a tank top and leggings. “What book were you reading?”   
  
Clint gave her a side-eye. “Twilight.” 

Natasha just looked at him blankly. “Never heard of it.” 

She sat down on the bedroll next to him and seemed to be taking in her surroundings and cataloguing any escape routes or hiding spots. Without her permission, her eyes slid shut and a moment later, Clint felt her head fall gently against his shoulder. Her slowed breathing told him that she had fallen into deep sleep quickly and he just felt a smile tug on his face. 

When Natasha woke up sometime in the middle of the night, the ship was moving and Clint was sitting next to her, asleep. She felt embarrassed about keeping him in an uncomfortable position but it wasn’t the most uncomfortable either of them had ever been, probably. Reaching over to her meager belongings, she felt something odd in her bag. A bumpy piece of paper. Tiny dots, in straight lines. Her eyes had not adjusted to the dark of the cargo bay so she made a mental note to look in the light of day and drifted back to sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao this just kept writing itself so here's another somewhat nat-centric chapter 
> 
> we're getting.....somewhere

Natasha ran her hands over the lines of bumps on the sheet of paper over and over again, as if touching it more would make her understand. Braille was not on the list of Red Room required languages. She hadn’t told Hawkeye about the Braille paper since it showed up a few days ago. Maybe even a week ago. They didn’t leave the cargo bay often. 

Hawkeye told her a lot about the agency he worked for, and the man who was his handler. He complained a lot about the book he had forgotten, and even started to retell the complicated love triangle plot that the book entailed. She was only mildly disinterested. 

  
Natasha hadn’t expected her soulbond to be so active so soon after removing the suppressor patch. She had been one of the few Widows who had a soulmate. The science division had developed a chemical balance to counteract the soulbond. She and her two sisters had been punished heavily if they ever removed their patch. Her eyes were drawn to the Braille paper again and she subconsciously rubbed her arm where the strong adhesive had been on her skin. 

“Hawkeye.” She said suddenly, knowing the man was just outside the door of the shipping container they were using as a bedroom.

“What’s up, Nat? You decide if you’re team Edward yet?” he grinned.

“Do you have a soulmate?” She asked casually. 

“I-.” His face went through a quick succession of emotions. “Yeah. I do.”   
  
She opened her mouth to say something but shut it again and looked away, weighing her options. Finally, Natasha just shoved the paper with Braille writing towards him. 

“Is this…?” 

“It showed up a few days ago.” She said quietly. 

“Did you know you have a soulmate?” He asked carefully, watching her face.

“ _ Da. _ ” She responded, slipping back and forth speaking Russian as she worried her lip between her teeth. “The …. The  _ krasnaya komnata  _ knew I had one.  _ Rodstvennaya dusha.” _

Clint watched her carefully, noting that she once again rubbed at her arm.

“There were only a few of the  _ chernaya _ who had them. We had special patches that suppressed-”   
  
“That’s what you took off in the hotel room.” He finished. 

_ “Da. _ ”

She pulled her knees close to her chest and stared miserably at the sheet of Braille typing. Clint sat down next to her in what he hoped was a comforting position. 

“So this is the first thing you’ve gotten from them?”

“What if they thought they were alone? All this time?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“Hey, it’s not your fault kid.” He jostled her lightly with his shoulder. “I’ve only gotten a handful of things from my soulmate. There are not that many people unbonded on Earth, I’m sure your soulmate just thinks that you’re a neat freak or somethin’.”   
  
She didn’t say anything but there were no longer tears threatening the brims of her eyes.

“Besides, if you play nice with SHIELD, they’ll help you find ‘em.”

Natasha’s head whipped around to look at him. “Have they helped you with yours.”   
  
Clint’s face went through another journey of emotions. “They’ve tried.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, resting her head on his shoulder. “I don't mean to pry.”

“It’s ok. There's not much to pry into. I don’t know much about my soulmate. Poor sod’s probably gotten buried under a heap of my lost shit by now though.”   
  
“Do you know many others who are with their soulmates?” 

Clint waved his hand. “A few. I’m not  _ that _ old that everyone’s found theirs. And I work for a spy organization, people can hide their identities if they wanted to avoid finding their soulmate.”   
  
“Can you tell me about them? People who found theirs?”   
  
Clint looked over at her and felt a smile twitch onto his face. “Yeah. I can.”

\----

The Soldier felt a large lump under his mattress as soon as he woke up. Everything else was within normal parameters. His stash of appearing things was in its normal place behind his right shoulder.

Listening for any guards or movement outside his cell, The Soldier shifted out of bed and gingerly picked up his mattress. There was a thick paperback book under his mattress. When he removed it and looked at the cover, he was even more confused.

Stuffing it next to his pillow with the rest of the things, The Soldier forgot about the book and went to his morning station. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_AMAMOT) or i’m on [tumblr](https://askmeaboutmyoctopustheory.tumblr.com/)
> 
> This author invites:
> 
> *Short comments  
> *Long comments  
> *Questions  
> *Reader/reader interaction
> 
> Author responses: This author replies to comments. If you don't want a reply for any reason whatsoever (you feel shy, you have anxiety, just because), feel free to sign your comment with "whisper" and I will appreciate the comment and respect your wish that I not respond.


End file.
